A Guy's Guide to Being a Man's Man Read online

  When I’m not acting, I am involved in many other things, like screenwriting, producing, and doing charity work. I even owned my own successful cigar line called Public Enemy. You see, a man’s man is a jack of all trades, but also a master of all. That’s what makes the difference.

  As you can see, being a man’s man has gotten me far in my own life. Do you want a piece of that action? Do you feel you’re capable of more in your own life? If you follow my man’s man code, your dreams can come true. So, let’s get back to basics. To become a real man’s man isn’t easy. But relax—I’ve decided to reveal my proven secrets in this guidebook. I am going to teach you how to walk like a man’s man, eat like a man’s man, cook like a man’s man, smoke a cigar like a man’s man, gamble like a man’s man, even breathe like a man’s man! I have strategically broken down the book into pertinent subjects so that you can easily learn all the fundamentals. For example, in the section “Dating Like a Man’s Man,” you’re going to learn how to treat a lady right, from the very first moment you set your eyes on her. Then, in the section “Looking Like a Man’s Man,” you’re going to learn how to dress from head to toe for all the important occasions. Hey, fellas, if you don’t look the part, then how you gonna be the part? A guy just worries about wearing clean boxers, but a man’s man worries about every single aspect of his attire, right down to the scent of his cologne, which drives the women nuts. When I’m done, you’ll be totally covered.

  Now, for a man’s man, pleasure is just as important as business, and what’s the most desirable man’s man location in the world? If you said Disneyland, you should close this book right now. It’s Vegas, baby, and I’m going to give you a private tour of Sin City. Not sure how to tip? No problem. I’ll clue you in on the proper protocol so that when you’re just thinking about calling downstairs for fresh towels, there’s already a bellhop knocking at your door.

  Those are just some of the things you’ll learn in this book. There’s a man’s man inside of you just waiting to be let out of his cage, and I’m gonna help you find him. Trust me.

  You bought this book, so you took the first step. Now, take the second step and read it, because then you’ll be on your way to becoming a real man’s man—Frank Vincent style! Then, if after you’re done reading it you still don’t think I’m a man’s man, “You can go home and get your shinebox!”

  Dating Like a Man’s Man

  A man’s man has no problem meeting women. In fact, he meets so many that it can become a problem. Hey, not a bad problem to have! But a man’s man has a certain viewpoint when it comes to the opposite sex. A man’s man is tough yet loving. He treats his lady with respect, but expects the same in return. A man’s man is capable of falling in love. Many women today complain that men are afraid to commit. A man’s man has no problem with commitment, as long as he’s not with a woman who needs to be committed. Fellas, it’s all a numbers game. The more women you meet, the greater chance you have of finding the right one. And if he does meet the right woman, a man’s man will know right away. If he thinks his lady’s “the one,” he’ll tie the knot faster than you can say, “Bada-bing!”

  There are certain ways to spot a man’s man right off the bat. If you decide to go clubbing on a Friday night and you’re home before two A.M., you’re not a man’s man. If you’re home at four A.M., but without a woman, you’re still not a man’s man. If it’s Saturday night and you’re sitting on your couch watching Showtime at the Apollo in your boxers, then you’re not a man’s man. If it’s Saturday night and you’re watching Showtime at the Apollo while cuddling with a hot girl who’s wearing your boxers, then you’re a man’s man.

  Also, a man’s man is always spontaneous. For instance, if you’re driving with your date on a country road and she feels romantic, a man’s man pulls over and gets in touch with nature—literally! If your date says she’s always wanted to be a member of the mile-high club, a man’s man surprises her with a charter flight. If your date wants to have a threesome with you, her, and Rolando, her pilates instructor, you tell her you’re not interested. A man’s man might be spontaneous, but not that spontaneous.

  Okay, I’m glad you’re beginning to catch my drift on the single man’s man lifestyle. Now, for a woman to be turned on by a guy, she has to be kept on her toes, and a man’s man continually does that. He does not give away too much too quickly, and he makes sure he leaves some mystery about himself. Trust me, today’s women want more mystery than Nancy Drew. Remember, nice guys finish dead last. It’s an old cliché, but it’s definitely applicable. If you’re too nice she’ll walk all over you like a treadmill. So, it is key for a man’s man to have some bad-boy qualities to be successful in pursuing the opposite sex. Women like some bad-boy qualities—bad boys are more exciting, mysterious, and flamboyant. And as I said, a bad boy keeps a lot of himself to himself. Trust me, guys, it can be the difference between just dipping your big toe in the dating pool and doing the backstroke.

  I’ve been a musician and an actor for almost my whole life, and fans approach me all the time, especially women. I was at a mall recently and three beautiful women came up to me and said, “Frank, we love your character Phil Leotardo on The Sopranos.” I said, “Ladies, you don’t think he is too much of a bad guy?” Obviously, they didn’t. “No, we love that character. We love bad boys. Your character turns us on,” they gushed. They went on to tell me that it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Phil Leotardo kills people on the show—it had to do with the fact that he exudes confidence and power. He is a man’s man, for sure. For the record, there’s a good bit of myself in Phil Leotardo and all of the characters I’ve played on screen throughout my movie career. That’s why I’m writing this book!

  Bad boys are not guys who trash hotel rooms. In fact, bad boys are classy, and even refined. For example, even though Donald Trump came from money and a privileged lifestyle, he is a bad boy. Bruce Willis is another one. Bruce and I worked together on a film called Mortal Thoughts, and we’re friends. I was at the opening of the Borgata Hotel Casino and Spa in Atlantic City where Bruce was appearing with his band. He asked me to sit in on drums, and I had a blast! Bruce is a bad boy and the women just flock to him. Now, it’s not just the fact that he’s a big movie star—it’s more because Bruce is very laid-back and very sure of himself. I’ve worked on numerous films with Robert De Niro, and women just love him. I got the opportunity to introduce Aerosmith to a packed house at Madison Square Garden, and let me assure you, they are big-time bad boys. Wake up and smell the double espresso: a touch of bad boy is what women like. Here are some of the top bad boys around today:

  Vincent’s list of infamous bad boys:■ Jack Nicholson

  ■ Donald Trump

  ■ Bruce Willis

  ■ Denis Leary

  ■ Colin Farrell

  ■ Robert De Niro

  ■ Aerosmith (the whole band)

  ■ James Gandolfini

  ■ Ray Liotta

  ■ Johnny Depp

  ■ Russell Crowe

  ■ Andy Dick ( just making sure you’re awake)

  With all that being said, a man’s man may eventually realize he has serious feelings for one of the many lovely ladies he’s dating. Hey, some of the biggest bad boys in history have committed to a woman at some point: Robert De Niro and Grace Hightower, Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, Dave Navarro and Carmen Electra, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Hmmm . . . scratch that last one. Anyway, a man’s man could eventually be in a serious relationship, but how does he know for sure that she’s the right woman to take seriously? Well, there are a few important prerequisites. For example, she’s close with her family. She is well traveled and well read. She has a sense of adventure. She loves animals (I have a cat). She takes care of herself. She is a career woman (and I don’t mean working the pole at the Bada Bing!). Don’t get me wrong, fellas, she doesn’t have to embody all of the above qualities. However, she does need to have what you feel are important character traits. Also,
her life goals and views should mesh well with yours.

  In every relationship, there’s going to be some compromise, but remember not to compromise yourself in the process of dating. Don’t be afraid to make changes in yourself, but do it gradually, one step at a time. However, as you’re making those changes, be sure you don’t lose your identity! You have to keep you own persona going at all times. You have to remember to show your lady that you have a life of your own. It’s confidence and self-assurance women are attracted to, not just some phony schnook!

  Men, you’ve taken your first steps in learning how to date like a man’s man. With that in mind, read ahead for advice on how to approach a woman. Good luck, tiger!

  Getting the Digits

  Let’s face it: the Palm Pilot and cell phone have replaced the cocktail napkin and pen. But whatever method you’re using, the bottom line is getting the girl’s phone number.

  There are many places a man’s man can meet women and score some digits. However, I’ve found that meeting women through personal ads is definitely not the ticket. I recently stumbled upon a personal ad in the newspaper, which read as follows:

  SWF (Single White Female) looking for a SWM (Single White Male), between the ages of 30 and 50, who likes bondage and discipline. Must enjoy being tied up, slapped, whipped, spanked and demeaned. Also, must enjoy taking long walks.

  Hey, honey, with all that whipping, spanking, and being tied up, how the hell do you expect me to go for a long walk afterward? Makes no sense to me. My point is, some women are totally nuts. Also, a man’s man never meets women in chat rooms. It can be a bigger catastrophe than personal ads. Yeah, it’s a lot of fun when you’re IM’ing with a chick on-line for over a year and she describes herself as a voluptuous version of Sarah Jessica Parker. Then, when you finally meet her in person, she looks more like an obese version of Bernie Mac. That online crap is just that—crap!

  What are some of the best places for a man’s man to meet women? Well, there’s a laundry list. In fact, speaking of laundry, the Laundromat is a good place to start. I have to admit that the Laundromat might be considered an oldie, but in a man’s man’s book it’s still a goodie. It’s usually filled with beautiful young women who are going to be sitting in one place for at least forty-five minutes while their clothes get clean. Also, since men despise doing laundry, there is virtually no competition at a Laundromat.

  Now, the next stop is your local supermarket. Have you seen the hit television show Desperate Housewives? Well, a supermarket is filled with them. When a woman sees a man’s man pushing a shopping cart through a supermarket, it’s a big-time turn-on. She automatically knows that he can cook for himself and, most important, can cook for her. Bookstores are always a good place to meet women as well. When you see a woman at your local Barnes & Noble, you know she is intelligent and well read. But, do yourself a favor, stay away from the ones who are in the self-help aisle. Next thing you know, you’re acting like Dr. Phil instead of Don Juan De Marco, and that’s not what I consider a fun Saturday night. Museums are also good places to meet interesting women, and every major city has at least one. It is a known fact that when beautiful European female tourists visit a city, they always go to a museum. Your local pottery class is a great place to meet women as well. I know what you’re saying, “Hey Frank, isn’t a pottery class a little suspect?” Go to your local Blockbuster and rent the movie Ghost and then come back and talk to me about pottery class. Enough said.

  Of course, meeting women and getting digits is also seasonal. In the summertime you can’t find a better place to meet women than the beach. A man’s man takes care of his body during the off-season so he is definitely prepared to brave the beach and introduce himself to some lovely ladies. What is the best way to get numbers at the beach? Having a catch with a buddy of yours and overthrowing the football—oooops, sorry girls! In the winter, I have to say the ski resort is the best place. In my experience, women who take care of their bodies and are fun to hang out with love to ski. I’ve got to tell you, there’s nothing like cuddling up in front of a nice hot fire, toasting some marshmallows and having a hot toddy with a beautiful woman. Isn’t life good? For a man’s man it certainly is.

  Now I don’t really like to do this, but I have to address it because it’s become so popular in our modern day culture—meeting women in a bar or nightclub. Hey, I know the drinks at a hot club are not cheap, but if you invest wisely, your stock will definitely go up! I have to be honest, in the nightclub setting, looks are particularly important. When approaching a woman to get her phone number in a club, first there has to be a level of attraction. If you don’t look and smell good, then you’ve got no shot of even getting to first base (for more on looks, see the section “Looking Like a Man’s Man”).

  There is a great scene in the film Swingers that’s the perfect example of how a man’s man should approach a woman. Trent (played by Vince Vaughn) gives his best friend Mike (played by John Favreau) a “man-to-man” talk before Mike goes up to a hot chick to ask her for her digits. Here’s Trent’s advice: “When you go up and talk to her, man, I don’t want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie that everyone is hoping really makes it. I want you to be like the guy in the rated ‘R’ movie. The one you’re not sure whether or not you like yet—not sure where he is coming from.” Mike takes that advice and successfully pulls the digits. I couldn’t describe how to act like a man’s man better myself. First impressions are everything, and you want the first words that come out of your mouth to be gems. Here are some examples of what a man’s man says and would never say:

  Man’s Man: Hi, I wanted to come over and say hello.

  Moron: Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and say hello.

  Man’s Man: Can I buy you a drink?

  Moron: Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the cash?

  Man’s Man: What’s your name?

  Moron: Are you Consuela, my Internet connection?

  Man’s Man: What’s your girlfriend’s name?

  Moron: You should probably tell me your girlfriend’s name before we have the threesome.

  As you can see, the first few lines should be fairly basic. Don’t try something too smart, because it usually comes off stupid. You want to strike up a conversation casually—a man’s man doesn’t force it. You can talk about whatever seems right, but whatever you do, don’t overcompliment her on her personal appearance. Most guys do that, and when they do, women know they’ve got you right in the palm of their hand. Instead, play it cool. Then, a little while into the friendly conversation, a man’s man casually asks, “Can I get your phone number?” Casual is key.

  I also find that when you least expect it, you can meet a beautiful lady—like when a man’s man is going about his daily life. As I mentioned, a man’s man often meets women in places like the supermarket, museum, beach, Laundromat, etc. However, a man’s man never overlooks the obvious. Fellas, one of the most effective ways to meet a woman is on the street. The first “plus” is that they’re usually by themselves. They don’t have their friends with them. At a club, women tend to travel in packs, and it’s hard to get any one-on-one time. When you meet a woman on the street, there aren’t the pressures of a nightclub scene, tons of people and loud music. You’re just two people going about your daily business. You’re not trying to impress her with your car, or dinner at a fancy restaurant. This is purely one-on-one.

  Meeting a woman on the street also has a level of romance to it. A woman may have a day off from work when she’s approached by a man’s man. Next thing she knows, they’re having a great conversation. From there, the next move might be to a café, to have an iced cappuccino, and talk about mutual interests! It’s a spontaneous move—but remember, a man’s man is always spontaneous, and that’s what women like.

  Things you want to project to a woman on the street:■ That you’re honest

  ■ That you’re spontaneous

  ■ That you’re sincere

  ■ That the
re isn’t a warrant out

  ■ That you aren’t for your arrest desperate

  Now, the first step is introducing yourself. One day, I passed by a woman a few times in the street and the vibe was there. So, I decided to approach her. I said, “Excuse me, I passed you three times in the last five minutes and I would really like to introduce myself.” If you approach her in a manner that’s cool, calm and confident, she will be responsive and not intimidated by you in any way. Now, after you talk with her for a few minutes or so, you ask for her phone number. Sometimes on the street, a woman is more hesitant to give out her number than in a club. I’m not sure why that is, but you can bank on it. If she resists giving you her number, ask her for her email address. If she doesn’t want to give her email address, then you get her fax number. Fax her a photo of yourself and ask her out that way! A man’s man always leaves with something, because if a woman asks for your number instead, you’re dead in the water. Don’t bother giving it because nine times out of ten, they never call. Fellas, trust me, they never call you even if they really like you.

  Now, when you’re approaching a woman, it’s important to be persistent, but not overly persistent. Overly persistent equals STALKER! Next thing you know, you’re being locked up. There are a lot of pretty girls out there and they actually outnumber us men. So if you aren’t successful walk away and go on to the next girl. If she says she’s dating someone seriously, you leave it right there. Some guys tell me that they tell the girl, “Oh, give me your number anyway and we can just be friends.” A man’s man is not going to be just friends with a beautiful woman if he’s interested in her. Also, if she’s really that beautiful, chances are her boyfriend is a fellow man’s man—and a man’s man doesn’t step on the turf of another man’s man. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Just remember, when you’re approaching a woman, act calm, honest and, most important, be yourself.